he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
