So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize