don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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