I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Randomize
