I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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