its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
