Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
