i may or may not be watching the land before time
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
