I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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