11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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