if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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