Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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