Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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