My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
