U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My balls are so social today.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
