A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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