Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
