Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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