I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
