Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
