I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
