Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm at about main and main street
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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