Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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