My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he shaved USA in his pubs
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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