I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
