Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
