When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
