I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
