i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have fence marks all over my body
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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