I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize