Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
