yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
