JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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