That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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