so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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