2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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