Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
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