Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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