how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
