happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
