Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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