the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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