Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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