glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
