how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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