Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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