He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize