He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
