So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
