Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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