one two three fourrrrnication!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
