Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
