Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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