I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
