Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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