went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
