I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
