Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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