I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
