New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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