Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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