Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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