bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize