There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
