BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
