Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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