Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
